Well they say you live and learn.
Yep. I can tick off the first one.
But learn… That one seems to be a little faulty. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – COMPUTERS ARE OUT TO GET ME. Always have done. Always will.
With Hubby’s help, I have managed to decorate the edges of my blog. This involved much bleeting on my part – and many mistakes *coughs* …on my part.
I have also been re- re- re- publishing my paperbacks which has been emotionally-draining as my beautifully-honed covers have been sucked into the system, never to be seen again. ‘Starting from scratch’ has now become my default and accepted state.
I don’t think I’ll be one of those clever people who decides to enhance their golden years by taking on another degree. I’ve even written down instructions how to work the TV.
Still, I should thank my lucky stars. There’s a lot to be said for being alive…
Well, here I am again.
Already? you ask.
Yes, it’s all or nothing with me.
Just thought I’d post a little bit of news whilst having a break from republishing ‘Salt’ – a children’s mystery set at Pirates’ Cove…
Some lucky individuals are awarded OBEs, some CBEs. Others become Sir or Lady…
Drum roll, please!
Trrrrrrrrr (that’s the drum roll, in case you were wondering)
I hereby proudly announce my newly-awarded title – Drablr of the week. Ta da!
*hears confused muttering*
It means – some people know nothing – that my 100 word story (i.e. ‘drabble’) was voted favourite on the drablr.com website.http://drablr.com/helen/drabble/bie/cold-heart
And here it is in its full gruesome glory:
‘Mrs Radley, you really should open your windows more often. Look at the flies.’
I opened a window.
‘And get some air freshener. It smells so-’
My face contorted.
‘You’d feel a lot less lonely if you tried making more conversation. Sometimes I feel as though I’m talking to myself.’
I flicked the duster along the back of Mrs Radley’s chair. Specks settled on her soft white hair. I swiped along the arm and around her mottled hand.
Mrs Radley was grinning at me. Her dentures were on her chest and a bluebottle was regurgitating on her left eyeball.
OK, blog, I have returned… and bearing gifts at that!
I have been a very busy bee of late – *shakes tail and wiggles wings* – because I have been in direct combat with technology. Yes, I grabbed it by the horns, had a bit of a scuffle where it rudely threw me around and left me disorientated, but I came out triumphant and victorious, wearing a laurel wreath emblazoned with the words ‘By Jove, she did it’.
Let me show you what I’ve been up to:
*rummages through Internet, comes up for breath and dives back in briefly*
I have been using what can only be described as magic to make what can only be described as paperbacks.
I’m still only two-thirds along the rocky path that lies ahead of me, complete with deviously camouflaged trapdoors and things with sharp teeth which are prone to nibbling a small writer’s ankles, but here’s the booty so far:
*takes a deep bow and skips off happily*
Well, it’s only taken me a year and a half to realise that the reason the option ‘make a new blog post’ didn’t come up was because I had to SIGN IN! Doh…
And now I’m here, I have nothing to say.
So that was disappointing, wasn’t it?
Well, no, actually – as there’s no one to be disappointed! No one knows about this blog so I’m just shouting into space.
Don’t they say talking to yourself is the first sign of madness?
‘They’? Who are they?
*feels paranoid and looks around*
Anyway, this will probably be my only post for a couple of years as I’ll forget to sign in again.
Will it really?
Yes, self, more than likely…